every little thing in the world is beatiful...



I remember when we were little. It was in the summertime, it was hot and Cody and I were out of school. Hagan was eight. I remember pulling Hagan to my room and saying, "want to play big kid games?"  He nodded eagerly and smiled his baby smile. Then I was twelve, and Cody was fifteen. I told Cody my game plan and he laughed and watched. I took out all my makeup stuff and layed it out on my My Little Pony bedspread.

I put on some foundation, lipstick, then some eyeliner. I applied eyeshadow and mascara and blush and lip gloss. I slid on some dangly earrings and a long, lopey blue dress. I brushed Hagan's hair and he let me put him in a suit (he wasn't such a brat then) and I told him that he'd look cute with mascara on his already-llama-lashes.

I let him stand on a step stool and brush my hair (it was long then) and spray Cody's cologne all over him. He stood up straight and looked in a mirror. "Why don't I look like you?" He asked quietly. "Why is my hair yellow? Why is my skin darker? Why are my eyes bluer? Why don't we look the same?"

I sighed. "We do. But on the inside."

-Worst Summer Ever

think ive finally found a note to make u understand...

gym class heroes is absolutely GORGEOUS and their music is fabulous ^_^
just checkin in here :D how's everyone? good? good. im okay...a little...with some updates: i always said i would dye my hair and yes, now the front is light blue and i like it. its a change. more updates: got three shows coming up: one for church, a talent show for my sisters homeschool group after nagging, begging, and me jumping in YES! I CAN PERFORM!, and school house rock all one month after the other haha gonna be a busy month :)

today i surprised even myself by wearing an old blue hollister sweater and some aeropostle jeans. yes, i know. it felt different from the standard blood on the dance floor graphic tee and pink skinnies...i also left my hair down and didnt tease it, wore a bare amount of makeup, and everybody was surprised.

of course, i still wore my osiris sneakers. im not that sure of myself, haha.

the point is, im so sick of being labeled "emo chick." i dont want my clothes/hair/makeup to define me. i dont care if wearing green skinny jeans are cool...maybe i want to look preppy/ghetto today (and for the first time in the entire school year, the most popular girl in the seventh grade talked to me...and im like woman please u know who i am im the chick who sings lmfao in the hallways...and then she left) and guess what? i did.

and boys: i dont know what to do about them. all the ones who seem to like me are the bad boys. idk, maybe they see me as a "bad girl," which i am not, other than the fact that i listen to rap and get in-school suspension for talking hahaha. but im single, will be for a while, because all these stupid guys are just lowering my tolerance for idiots...

yep. just an update post. nothing exciting here, but hey, my life cant be thrilling 24/7. comment, yadda yadda, see yall later :D <3

kid i couldn't live without you...

haha, sometimes i think you're a jerk.
you really know how to annoy me.
you are the one person who knows exactly how to make me want to punch you in the mouth.
we never agree on anything.
you always have to be right.
it's all about you, isn't it?
you're gonna make fun of me no matter what.
and you're gonna one-up me all the time.

but you're my brother.
sometimes i call you just to rant.
we text all the time.
every time i'm depressed, you know exactly what's wrong.
when im crying, you find a way to make it better.
sometimes we laugh so hard that we don't make any more sound.
we're always in trouble for talking in class.
you're the goofy one, im the crazy-in-the-head one.
and we have way too many inside jokes.

but whenever some guy is making fun of me,
some dude's calling me fat,
crazy, ugly, stupid, whacked,
and some number of others,
you're the first to stand up, before even the teacher,
yelling "YO, nobody talkes to my sister like that!"
and you get into the fight, not caring about suspention,
and you never get in trouble for it.
you yell at the jerky kids when i need you to
you've got my back, sam.
you're my best friend, brother, and you let me know
that i gotta have swag, self-confidence, let your light shine.
to not care what they think and not play by the rules.
you gotta listen to bob marley and nirvana sometimes,
and you gotta smile and run because you got some kid in trouble.
you make me so mad, kid.
you never shut up, and you never sit down.
but without you, bro, this school would be so much quieter.
you make a grand entrance, kid.
you make a grand exit.

happy birthday sam. four days late lol

you have one too

It's been said that every girl has one guy that she trusts with her life.

Someone you tell everything too, and they listen. They know your secrets, where you live, your phone number, your best friend's phone number, your first pet, your favorite color, food, and pair of jeans, they know the weird things that maybe not everyone else does.

I used to have three. Ozzy and Liam are my brothers and they always will be, but Ozzy moved away.  Liam won't always be there. I'm stuck with Sam and Ben and Kyle I guess, but they don't know anything about me.

Sometimes I just wish people would stop changing and they would just stay in the same spot forever. But we all know that I wouldn't be able to stay for more than five seconds without having a nervous breakdown or getting bored. This is so confusing....

perfect...

When I get a boyfriend,

He will be perfect,

For me, at least,

He'll be taller than me,

And stronger than me,

Maybe have blue hair,

Maybe colored skinny jeans.

He'll be funny, smart,

Unique, happy,

He'll love Jesus and popcorn,

Unicorns and pictures,

He'll laugh at my jokes,

He'll call me every night,

He'll play guitar or something,

We won't fight,

We'll look cute together,

When I cry, he'll know why,

We'll like the same music,

Know where we're going

When we die,

He won't hate my emo,

He might have a little too,

He'll encourage me,

Be there for me,

And every other thing.

My parents will think he's nice,

My friends will think he's chill,

He'll yell at all the kids I don't like

When they're being little jerks to me.

He'll care and I swear

That he exists.

Sending our people to another ****in country to die

Blood on the Dance Floor. Allday everyday.

So hi guys. Been a little bit, eh? Not really. So what's up? I heard this song today, find your way, and I really liked it, except swearing makes every song a little worse, and it's kind of funny that i found the one line in this song with a swear to post, heh, but it's my favorite. I really like it, and I don't listen to botdf too often.

Anyways, enough music talk. Let's talk about my friend Sam. Today, at school, he walks out of homeroom wearing...wait for it...bright, bright orangish-red hoodie. Girls, very obviously.

So in the next class, this is our conversation.

Me: Um, that sweater...
Sam: Yeah I know its so comfortable!
Me: Sam, where'd you buy that?
Sam: Dan (his twin brother) gave it to me.
Me: Um...that's a girl's hoodie.
Sam: No way! Dan told me to buy it at Old Navy!
Me: Sam, I'm your best friend. I always tell you what's wrong with you in no uncertain terms, like when you wear too-tight girls skinnies, or shirts with chihuahuas on them, or when there's a pencil stuck in your afro. I would not lie to you. THAT is a girl's sweatshirt.
Sam: No way!
Me: Ellaina, is that a girl's sweatshirt?
Ellaina: Yes! It's so cute!
Taylor: OMG, it is! Where'd you get it?
Sam: Old Navy, but-
Taylor: Let me try it on!
Sam: It's not-
Kyle: Sam, I have a pair of paints that same color!
Sam: Well, okay-
Vienna: Oh, yeah, that's really cute, what store?
Meghan: It's too girly.
Sam: OKAY IT'S A GIRL'S HOODIE!

It is. And he told about a hundred girls where he got it. Haha.

An that's my story today! Tune in next time to hear about how Taryn was on the phone with Shane and she saw a hooded figure coming up her driveway. She instantly started screaming "KIDNAPPER" and ran upstairs.

Yeah, it was Cody's mom, asking if Taryn's mother wanted to help out with the elementary school's PTA bake sale...

Oh. I guess I already told you. No need to tune in next time :)

a letter to ***

dear ***
(im not mentioning any names because i dont want to sound gossipy but i do want to get this out)

i cant believe ur one of my best friends and u act like this. u think u own me and that im going to do everything ur way. u know how insecure i am about my looks, y do u make it a policy to point them out? okay, ur sweet, funny, and i luv u to death, bro, but ur kind of a jerk. u care about urself and thats it. its funny how i didnt even notice until ****** pointed it out. im not gonna share ur name cuz that would be rude and i dont want to seem gossipy, but i need to tell u, without u knowing, that im sick of this. im gonna talk to u about it later, but seriously, you and ******** are being really jerky to me right now. im serious, if u do this one more time, u can think about getting a new friend. and u know how much i dont like it, ive told u so many times. please stop. and u too, *******. ive talked to u guys. u dont want me saying those things to u. enough of this. if u dont stop, think about getting some new friends. because i cant stand it.

i had to talk to u about this,
cassidy