I'd be lying if I said I never lied

My photo
United States
So how y'all doing? My name's Cassidy and the gentleman you see in my picture is Sam. I like cats and music a lot and oh I play the ukulele, piano, and other shtuff. Have a nice day :)

Monday, June 20, 2011

Reality check...

Ever get the feeling that your life just ain't perfect? Like sometimes you picture yourself in a happy world where every thing's perfect and like a sitcom show only better because it's YOUR life?

Like when you go on vacation...and you miss your friends. Or a long trip, boarding school, summer camp, ect. And then you come home, and life just fails to meet your expectations? You seem to remember this happy, cool world where you live at the mall and every day is just one big party?

Then you come home and, hm, everything goes from comedy-show-cool to oh-I-remember-this.

Because my friends are still the same...Jessica is still the same practical, patient, totally awesome person I left behind, Shannon still doesn't answer her phone and hasn't called me back (SHANNON!!!!!), and Krista is still the talkative, crazy, hyper...Krista that I left behind.

And my house is still the same big, nice, comfortable house that I left behind. And my pets are still the same. My yard is still the same, my church is still the same, the only thing different is that now I'm back from vacation...

I feel...weird. I feel like I wasn't really missed. Like I wasn't noticed. Krista is different, her father told me that she didn't stop talking about the fact that I was coming back the entire car ride here, which made me feel like I could fly out of that kid's room window and eat my name tag that says "Hi, my name is Cassidy. I help with your kids!" on it.

(I was working with the little kids that day, fyi)

But sometimes I picture my life as this crazy, I dunno...Nickelodeon show. Maybe it's just me, thinking I'm all funny and cool and popular and then...look at that, nope. Maybe to...Casey. Maybe to a grape. Maybe my broken pencil sharpener.

The point is, sometimes I feel like I raise the bar on myself and then when I actually look at myself, I'm not the awesome, upbeat, totally cool-and-with-friends person I imagine in my daydreams. Chances are, nobody really thinks about me unless I'm there.

THERE! I said it! I think that a lot, but never really got to write it down!

So I'm sorry if I seemed rambly or emotional or sad or really depressed in this post (I am only the first two, kinda) because I didn't mean to take my life out on you guys. Wait, that's kinda the point of the blog, huh? Yeah, I guess I've kinda been treating it more like a website, huh?

The website of Cassidy, who pretends to be cool and loves to death her sixty-seven followers.

Do you ever feel like you're making out things to be more than they can be? Like if you're planning a party, and you get all worked up...it can't possibly be as amazing as you're thinking...

But sometimes your party IS that amazing after all...

Maybe I'm only looking at this from one point of view. Maybe my life is different, vacation just made me think kinda crazy. Okay, now I'm gonna see if Shannon (SHANNON!!!!!!) will pick up her phone this time. Bye.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

At least you got to go on vacation. I am stuck in my ratty, old house with schoolwork and two pestering dogs! And I'd only have one family of friends to miss me if I were to leave. So there! LOL.
Well, actually, I had a great day today!
And, by the way, I think about you sometimes, and pray for you; so you're not completely forgotten. :)