Really dumb warning signs

These made me laugh. Here are the warnings for products that are actually, uh, not protecting anyone in any way. Except from being bored.

Label: Never operate your speakerphone while driving.
Product: Jabra Drive 'N' Talk.
So, uh, how do you operate it?

Label: This product may contain nuts.
Product: Peanuts & Peanut M&Ms.
Thanks for that tip there. I'll keep in mind that your nut-based product may contain nuts.

Label: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.
Product: Chainsaw.
WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!?!

Label: Do not use while sleeping.
Product: Hair dryer.
How can I possibly dry my hair in my sleep? Oh, I know, I'll somehow use this HAIR DRYER because I am awake and asleep at the same time and somehow conscious enough TO OPERATE IT!

Label: Contents may catch fire.
Product: Blow torch gas bottle.
Yes.

Label: Do not drive with sun shield in place.
Product: Reflective cardboard sun shades for car dashboards.
How in the world could I?

Label: This product may contain eggs.
Product: A carton of eggs.
So THAT'S what those are!

Label: May cause drowsiness.
Product: Nytol sleeping pills.
I'd hope so.

Label: Safety goggles recommended.
Product: Staples's letter opener.
Okay, I'll be careful opening this letter OMIGOSH the, uh, envelope got in my eye!

Label: The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.
Product: W.H. Collins' Vanishing Fabric Markers.
That just sucked all the fun out of it. I do that all the time making out checks to, uh, babies. Babies...in the navy?

Label: Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.
Product: Jet Ski.
Should be followed by: If this was news to you, you are not legally permitted to use this vehicle, or, for that matter, leave the house.

Label: Do not put any person in this washer.
Product: Huebsch Washing Machine.
Uh....I've got to go get Aidan out of a certain washing-machine shaped place.

Label: This product is not intended for use as a dental drill.

Product: Dremel Multipro rotary tools.
You can't be too careful.

Label (on website): Do not eat.
Product: Apple's iPod shuffle.
No comment required.

Label: Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product.
Product: Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans.
WITH NONSTICK PANS?!?!

I thought these were hilarious. The little comments down there are mine, except for the one about the eggs, that one is off the website. And I edited the one they used for the jet ski.

If you want to see these stupid little things for yourself, please got to this link. Okay, enjoy the dumbness!

Also posted today by Cassidy:
Operation: School at God's Writer Girl