A list of things you should do before using a public pottie

Ugh! Here's a list that will guide you around having to use the public bathrooms:

1: When using a public bathroom, you often see signs telling you if there's anything wrong with the bathroom, tell the manager. Tell whoever and you may be better off. But this will only make the experience a tiny bit better.

2: Usually, you find random objects in the bathroom. (Beer bottles, watches, belts, sandwiches,) Never pick these up! They're gross and should be left for the restroom attendant ONLY. Trust me, take the advise. If you find money, keep that however.

3: Don't use Porto potties. I'm actually kind of scared of them. They're unsanitary and have lots of bugs. You may get sick. Also, you never know who's #1 and #2 are still in there. If it doesn't flush, it's mush.

4: Always wipe down the seat before and after using a public toilet. This won't make it anymore pleasant, but it's sanitary. If you're sick, you don't want to get other people sick. And vise-verse. This will make life more interesting in the future.

5: Make sure you are in the right restroom. I myself have once or twice gone in to the Men's bathrooms, so I'm telling ya, always check. Even at my church both pottie chambers are yellow, so you gotta be careful.

6: Never use one-stalls, especially if they don't lock. Someone could barge in and see you, and that's not a pleasant experience. If you can't hold it and the single is you're only chance, you have 3 choices. 1: Go in your pants. 2: Go in the grass. 3: Knock before entering and tape a sign reading 'Occupied' to the door. Please remember to remove the sign when done, for this may cause confusion.

7: Hold up all baggy shirts and sweaters. You don't want them in the toilet, so remember to lift when you're 'going'. This will not only keep you dry, it'll save the water in the toilet from being 'shirt-itized'. Fun, fun, fun!

Well, I could give you Lot's of tips, but it's time for me to go. Bye!